Lightning deaths. When God does his smiting.
Jul 11th, 2007 by Dr. Death
Odds are, if you’re reading this, you’re going to eventually die. Don’t sweat it; it happens to everybody. But maybe the odds of dying from the sorts of accidents one hears about on the news – like plane crashes, snake bites, burning buildings, and lightning – might be a little surprising. They’re actually pretty low. The National Safety Council has compiled a comprehensive list of deadly accidents in the United States, and the odds of a person dying from those accidents during his or her lifetime. The chances of dying from lightning strike are 1 in 79,746 over a lifetime, and 1 in 6,188,298 for a year.
I recently heard a news story on the radio about a poor sap who was struck by lightning the other day, killing him instantly. This is not a totally uncommon experience, but it’s still fascinating. Just walking along, and BOOM. God decides it’s your time.
Not only was this man killed by lightning. He was a door-to-door salesman, walking down the street on a beautiful, blue sky day. Nary a cloud in the sky, apparently. And oh, yeah… the guy was SELLING BIBLES DOOR TO DOOR. Is there any other way to describe this accident other than God felt like kicking him in the nuts? here is a man, doing the Lord’s work, and he gets called home. “I Hereby Smite You!!” probably was heard just a second before the strike.
More lightning strikes:
A St. Louis County man walking on the street died when he was struck by lightning. Donald Weeks, 25, was walking to work about 2:15 p.m. Monday in Florissant when he was struck. Weeks worked at a car wash nearby. (What’s with the car wash connection? First, a chick loses her head in a fireworks accident, now this??) Witnesses saw a bright flash of lightning followed by a loud blast.
Or another.. a man has disappeared, and people think he may have been struck by lightning. Does God vaporize you into a pile of dust when you be smited? I haven’t heard that one before, but it certainly is an interesting concept.
Of course, it’s safer to be a person than a cow or a horse. Somehow this is news, and it’s fit to print. Of course, almost anything is printed these days, so I’m not surprised. I have to admit though, this line made me laugh:
The cow was standing under a tree when the tree was struck, Wilcom said. “It’s always the good cows that get struck by lightning,” he said.
IF THEY WERE GOOD COWS, THEY WOULDN’T BE SMITED!!
Of course, writing this article (and running this web-site most likely) will eventually earn me a lightning strike of my own. I still can’t help but be fascinated with lightning. When storms get near me, I run outside to watch. When lightning strikes close followed within hundredths of a second, I giggle out loud. There’s nothing else weather-related more exhilarating than standing out in a storm and watching it unfold. I wonder what you hear or think, just as you are about to get struck?
Dude was selling bibles. That’s cold, man….
Not a lightning death, but this recent AP article is a story about a guy with an iPod that was struck by lightning. I wonder if he was listening to REO Speedwagon’s song “Riding the Storm Out” or The Doors “Riders on the Storm”?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070712/ap_on_hi_te/ipods_lightning;_ylt=AnyTujkRq9wY4tYziFVkd8EjtBAF
If you’re going to be walking around in a thunderstorm, it might not be a good idea to be wearing an iPod. A 39-year-old dentist from Vancouver had a shocking experience while he was out jogging and listening to his iPod. Lightning struck a tree next to him, and then jumped over to him, throwing him 8 feet and resulting in second degree burns on his chest and left leg. There were also a couple of burns exactly where his iPod wires led up his torso, along either side of his neck and face and then into his ears. Did he live to tell the tale?
He survived but was pretty banged up. He had substantial burns on both his ears, both his eardrums were ruptured, his inner ear bones were dislocated and he also had a broken jaw in four places.
Frick says he survived his second lightning strike Friday – 27 years to the day of his first – and emerged a bit shaken, with only a burned zipper and a hole in the back of his jeans.
(Link: http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2007/07/29/4378694-ap.html)
Do you know what this means? Not only is his luck bad enough to get struck by lightning TWICE, this one entered his penis and exited out his ass. He’ll never be satisfied by a vibrating c0ckring again.
I have a friend who was struck when he was 12. He survived and went on to win several medals for bravery and injuries during the Korean War (of course he felt brave lightning couldn’t kill him). Years later he was struck again and lost both arms at the elbows. Nature can be a real Mother I guess…
[...] Lightning in your lifetime? 1 in 81,949 (read here for more) Drowning in your bathtub? 1 in 9,377 Legal execution? 1 in 72,494 Alcohol poisoning? 1 in 10,530 (or approximately 1 in 27 if your name is rjs) Fireworks discharge? 1 in 1,884,832 (which makes this story about Brock Barrett and Danialle Barse even more amusing) While riding in a car? 1 in 247 [...]
donald was my older brother. it seems like you have no remorse for my brother’s young life that was taken, it seems like some what of a joke to you. i’ll never have my brother back but i don’t like to think of it as god trying to get him or anything to do with him deserving it because he had done something bad. he was a good man, infact a great man who touched many people’s lives. as i don’t know why god took my brother neither do you so i would perhaps suggest keeping your damn mouth shut.