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So, is it that more celebrities attempt suicide because they live under a microscope of the American public, or is it that people all over attempt suicide, but only the rich and famous get news stories written about them? Owen Wilson, the latest big-name celebrity to try to off himself, created a seven-day whirlwind of stories, publicity, public well-wishers, and press about how dramatic and horrific this is. Sure, to see someone try to end their lives is sad, and maybe even traumatic, but should we be so much more concerned because Owen won’t be able to join his buddy Ben than we are about the alcoholic, empty life dude down the street?

Funny? Not Funny?

I say Funny.

In a list I ungraciously borrowed from Mental Floss, here are a bunch of newsworthy money people that tried to end the ride:

Halle Berry – admitted to Parade magazine that, distraught over her failed marriage to baseball star David Justice, she tried to end her life by carbon monoxide poisoning. Then, thankfully, she showed the world her funbags and made millions of men happy in their pants.

Greg Louganis – depressed, abused and confused, Greg attempted suicide three times (including once by an aspirin-and-Ex Lax combo) after a knee injury at age 12 ruined his dream of becoming an Olympic gymnast. Luckily, he recovered, and made it to the Games as a diver. Then, almost ironically, he about died in that infamous diving-smashed-his-head-on-the-platform stunt.

James Stockdale – H. Ross Perot’s former running mate attempted suicide while a POW at Hoa Lo Prison in Vietnam in 1969 to avoid torture. Had he known he would be eternally tied to Ross Perot, he probably would have tried harder.

Donna Summer – tried to leap from an 11-story window at a New York hotel at the peak of her career in 1976, but was discovered by a housekeeper and then doinked a thousand times by Gene Simmons.

Drew Carey – after a rough childhood that included sexual molestation by an unknown party and his father’s death, the lovable Price is Right host attempted suicide twice in his teen years. Then he buzzed his head, started wearing goofy BC glasses, and became richer than God. A true happy ending.

Mike Wallace – in a 2006 retrospective honoring his retirement as a 60 Minutes correspondent, Wallace revealed a suicide attempt twenty years prior.

Paul Robeson – the “Ol’ Man River” vocalist tried to off himself by slashing his wrists in a Moscow hotel room in 1961, although his son (Paul Jr.) claims the event was caused by a CIA/FBI conspiracy that drugged him with LSD.

Elizabeth Taylor – hoped to end her life in February 1962 with an overdose of Seconal, although she said she did so only because she “needed to get away.” I guess she never heard of Calgon.

Fred “Rerun” Berry – the What’s Happening!! star said he tried to kill himself three times prior to finding religion in 1984. But after he found the buffet line at Happy Wok around the corner from his apartment.

Robert Young – yes, even the Father Knows Best father fell victim to depression later in life, culminating in a 1991 attempt on his own life.

Drew Barrymore – after leaving drug rehab in 1989 at the age of 14, she tried to kill herself, but received treatment and successfully kicked the habit. Later in life, became a free-spirited pixie happy to show the world her best assets. Amen.

Danny Bonaduce – made headlines by attempting suicide in 2005 during the filming of the reality show Breaking Bonaduce after his wife asked him for a divorce. Neither the attempt (nor the subsequent hospitalization) was shown on-screen. Rumors that Fox and Vince McMahon were involved in a bidding war for PPV rights have been unfounded.

Elton John – tried to kill himself by sticking his head in a gas stove, but writing partner Bernie Taupin found him “lying on a pillow, and he’d opened all the windows.” The two collaborated on the song “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” to tell the story. How about “Someone never told me to close the windows while gassing myself”? Nah, that title would never sell.

Terrell Owens – the volatile NFL star denied a September 2006 report that he’d tried to kill himself by overdosing on prescription painkillers he had been taking for a broken finger. $25 million reasons to live? Get yo’ popcorn ready.

Britney Spears – earlier this year, tabloid headlines claimed that the pop diva had experienced a breakdown and tried to kill herself twice, first by walking into traffic, then by ODing on Xanax. This chick will succeed sooner rather than later, I’m afraid. I bet she jumps on a few lists for Ghoulpool ’08.

Mike Tyson – in September 1988, the then-undisputed heavyweight champion crashed his car into a tree in what the New York Daily News described as a suicide attempt. Tyson> Crazy? Really? never would have guessed.

Mental Floss describes many more celebrity near deaths — recommended reading.