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UPDATE: For King of Pop Michael Jackson, click this link.

No, not that Michael Jackson. But I’m a cruel son of a bitch, so I couldn’t resist that way too easy layup. But, as a serious beer lover myself, I thought the death of this Michael Jackson warranted a blurb.

Jackson, known as “the beer hunter,” died Thursday of a heart attack at his home in west London. His body was found by his house cleaner, Paddy Gunningham, his long-term partner, said Friday. He was 65.

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Mr Kennedy, Chavo Guerrero, Gregory Helms, Randy Orton, John Morrison, Shoichi Funaki, Charlie Haas, Umaga, William Regal and Edge were all suspended according to Sports Illustrated.

Only a couple really big names on this list, a few I don’t know, but jeezizkrist — William Regal? That flabby, toothpick-armed, pole-smoker with the horrifically hilarious grimace?

This has to be the most shocking news to come out of WWE since Stephanie’s surgically-enhanced boob popped free on live TV.

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Entomologists are debating the origin and rarity of a sprawling spider web that blankets several trees, shrubs and the ground along a 200-yard stretch of trail in a North Texas park.

Officials at Lake Tawakoni State Park say the massive mosquito trap is a big attraction for some visitors, while others won’t go anywhere near it.

“At first, it was so white it looked like fairyland,” said Donna Garde, superintendent of the park about 45 miles east of Dallas. “Now it’s filled with so many mosquitoes that it’s turned a little brown. There are times you can literally hear the screech of millions of mosquitoes caught in those webs.”  Read more... (338 words, 1 image, estimated 1:21 mins reading time)

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In following my crazy bitch theme for this past two weeks (Leona Helmsley dies, Ingrid Newkirk is an ass, Nicole Ritchie, Owen Wilson, and Amy Winehouse), news today that Queen of Mean, mega-bitch Leona Helmsley left her dog, another bitch named Trouble, $12M dollars today while leaving her grandchildren less than that.  Read more... (260 words, estimated 1:02 mins reading time)

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I didn’t even know who Amy Winehouse was 2 months ago. No idea. She never cracked my radar of crazy chicks most likely to die.

But after a couple of posts of America’s Flavors Of The Day (Paris, Brittney, Lindsay, and Nicole), I received several e-mails asking me why I wasn’t picking on Winehouse. At first, I ignored them, because I figured if there was some other crazy bat out there, I would have noticed her. After all, it’s what I do. But once I got my thirteenth email about her, I decided I needed to investigate.  Read more... (341 words, 2 images, estimated 1:22 mins reading time)

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From Star Magazine:

Actor Owen Wilson was hospitalized after attempting suicide, sources tell the NATIONAL ENQUIRER and Star magazine exclusively.

Wilson was transported to St. John’s hospital in Santa Monica , Calif. on Sunday, August 26, by ambulance. Sources tell the ENQUIRER and Star that he sliced his left wrists and took an indeterminate amount of pills.

He was discovered by a family member who summoned help.

Police and an ambulance responded to a 911 call from Owen’s house around noon on Sunday.

His wrist was sutured and bandaged at the hospital.

 Read more... (260 words, estimated 1:02 mins reading time)

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I really think we need to blame OJ for all this crap going on in Los Angeles’ courtrooms today. Before OJ stabbed his way to post football celebritydom, the Hollywood Royalty rarely were above the law. but, since that infamous trial that awarded more quotable quotes than justice, it seems that as long as you have money and fame, you can do what you want. Hell, if OJ can get away with killing his ex-wife and “His name is Ron, dammit” Goldman, it seems that something as insignificant as a DUI or possession of recreational amounts of drugs isn’t even worth the time to talk about.  Read more... (502 words, 3 images, estimated 2:00 mins reading time)

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PETA is a terrible organization.

Not because of what they stand for in principle. I think just about everyone (the Michael Vick’s of the world notwithstanding) can agree that people shouldn’t harm animals for anything other than the basics like food and clothing and stuff. Hell, that’s why animals are put on this earth — to feed, clothe, and work for people. But it’s the message, and the hard-line stance that has most people thinking PETA is nothing more than an insane asylum.  Read more... (698 words, 2 images, estimated 2:48 mins reading time)

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NEW YORK (AP) – Leona Helmsley, the hotelier who went to prison as a tax cheat and was reviled as the “queen of mean,” died Monday at age 87.

Helmsley died of heart failure at her summer home in Greenwich, Conn., said her publicist, Howard Rubenstein.

Already experienced in real estate before her marriage, Helmsley helped her husband run a $5 billion empire that included managing the Empire State Building. She became a household name in 1989 when she was tried for tax evasion. The sensational trial included testimony from disgruntled employees who said she terrorized both the menial and the executive help at her homes and hotels.

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BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) — A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.

“There’s a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage,” zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.  Read more... (113 words, 1 image, estimated 27 secs reading time)

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